Reg Speaks (and Sings!)...



Download Reg introducing himself

Reg - 'Reginald Percival Hollis'

Download Everyone in the whole nick............

Reg - 'I should think by now the word has gone around the entire nick that I'm a complete idiot.'

Download Reg doing 'My Way' (Large file)

Reg - 'And now the end is near, and so I face the final curtain. My friends, I'll say it clear, I'll state my case, of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full, I've travelled each and every highway, but more, much more than this, I did it my way.'
Jack - 'Thank You Reg.'


Download Reg singing (again!)(another largish file)

Reg - 'But what is a man, what hath he got, he's got himself then he has not, to say the words he truly.....'
Conway - 'What's going on, what's the racket?'
Reg - 'Oh sir, it's a sound check for a wire.'
Conway - ' Oh thank God for that, for a moment there, I thought you were singing.'


Download 'Were you born a pratt?'

Reg - 'Reg, were you born a pratt, or did you take lessons?'
Download Paper clips

Reg - 'Oh CID are too busy counting paper clips are they?'

Download Hot Dog Vendor

Reg - 'You paid me, did you pay me luv? S'alright, you only have to pay once here, it's not like the tax man darlin. Here we go, put that in there, any ketchup love? Tiny bit? No extra charge at all. Lovely, keep smiling, oh you are smilling. Lovely. Thank very much'

Download Reg's Boots.

Tony - 'You wanna watch it Vicky, Reg's boots have the ability to walk home on their own.'
Reg - 'Well actually Tony, I've managed to get rid of that particular problem, by inserting anti-bacterial insoles. Yeah they eat away at the fungus.'


Download Organisations.

Matt - 'Yes Reg.'
Reg - 'Sarge. When I was Federation Rep, I came across a number of organisations that I thought might be useful to Sargeant Gilmore. For officers who are Gay and Lesbian, quite handy I thought.'
Matt - 'Really?'
Reg - 'Well, the service itself can be a very intimidating organisation for officers who are gay and lesbian, or bisexual.'


Download Watch where other people are going.

Reg - 'You wanna watch where other people are going!'

Download Diplomacy is my middle name.

Reg - 'You alright Tony? You look as if you've had some bad news.'
Tony - 'Just over three hours, with stealth and secrecy we can do it, are you on?'
Reg - 'Oooh yeah...Diplomacy is my middle name. Now just tell me what you are talking about.'


Download Reg on Dating Agency's.

Reg - 'No, no, no. It's just that er, well, if you ask me, I think dating agency's are a sad indietment of our alienated way of life, but I suppose you won't ask me.'

Download Leak.

Reg - 'No, I'm sorry, Madam, but having a leak in your bathroom, does not warrant a 999 call. What you need is an emergancy plumber.'

Download PMT.

Brownlow - 'You lost something, Reg?'
Reg - 'Oh, um, Sir, Mr Brownlow, yes, the battery for my countdown millennium clock, you see it goes backwards and tells me exactly how many minutes and seconds it is til midnight. But this ones stopped.'
Brownlow - 'Perhaps it's the Millennium Bug.'
Reg - 'Yeah, or PMT.'
Brownlow - 'PMT?'
Reg - 'Yeah, Pre Millennium Tension.'


Download Feet.

Des - 'You're looking at feet, you don't look at feet!'
Reg - 'Oh I like feet, feet are very sensual.'
Des - 'Are they?'
Reg - 'Helen's got lovely feet, small, petitte.'
Des - 'I always had you down as a breast man.'
Reg - 'Umm'


Download Girls best friend.

Shop Assistant - 'How much was Sir thinking of spending?'
Des - 'Well, money's no object, is it? I mean, he's got a credit card and a house.'
Shop Assistant - 'Then I would recommend diamonds.'
Des - 'Girls best friend.'
Shop Assistant - 'Nah, that's a chocolate bar.'


Download Leak.

Des - 'Why don't you leave a message?'
Reg - 'Oh, yeah what, oh hello Hells, Reg here. I'm in Southend, I've got Des Taviner with me, probably half the Met are after us, might not have a job to go back to cos we touched some blokes underpants in a toilet. And, will you marry me?'


Download Taste in Music.

Des - 'Your taste in music stinks'
Nick - 'I spose you like middle of the road stuff, right?'
Reg - 'Er, no Nick. You'd be surprised actually, Des's musical tastes are quite broad. Yes, his Beethoven is far worse than his Bach.'


Download The Singing Detective.

Reg - 'There you go Sarge.'
Vik - 'What's this Reg?'
Reg - 'Someone dropped it off at the front desk.'
Vik - 'Do we know who?'
Reg - 'No, didn't leave a name. Detective Singh.'
Vik - 'Yes Reg I can read.'
Reg - 'Not the, er, Singing Detective, is it? Singh-ing Detective.'
Vik - 'Thankyou, Reg.'
Reg - 'Bit of an old one that.'


Download You talking to me?

Reg - 'You talking to me? YOU TALKING TO ME? Well, who the hell else you talking to?'
See Pics 138-140!



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