Liz Speaks...



Download Sexual Harassement

Liz - 'I've never found it necessary to report a colleague for sexual harassement.'
Colleague - 'Oh really? You surprise me.'
Liz - 'I find a swift knee in the nuts usually makes the point.'


Download Green Cross Code

Teenager - 'Look, have I done something wrong?'
Liz - 'You know the Green Cross Code?'
Teenager - 'Yeah'
Liz - 'Yeah? Well we're cracking down on it. You crossed the road between two parked cars, Now I'll let you off with a warning this time, but don't let it happen again, alright?'

Download Goodness me!

Duncan - 'Goodness me! You've lassoo'ed someone at last!'
Liz - 'Yeah, Martin. Not in the job, changes his socks every day, mixes a hell of a Bloody Mary, Bliss!'



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